Reflections
by KiteDancer
Summary: He watched her through ice blue eyes as she struggled. “It has to stop, Sonny. You. Me” Chad/Sonny Chad/OC Rated T for self-harming
1. Chapter 1

**Hello readers! So, this is another SWAC fic. I've planned for five-ish chapters, so it's fairly short. Another Channy, I'm afraid. What can I say? ^^ The song that kind of inspired this story is Field of Innocence by Evanescence – not really very well known as it was a song on their first album – kind of a test album, as not very many copies were made. Quite a haunting song, really. Not the kind of stuff I usually listen to. Lately I've taken to writing darker stories - don't know why as my mood is improving :p Maybe I just write darker stories when I'm happier to balance out.**

Chapter 1

A delicious wave of pain slashed along her arm, fire and ice, burning, destroying, yet welcoming, sweet. The scarlet blood began to trickle, to splash, the burning began to flame, the pain intensifying. She smiled in satisfaction, hazel eyes bright and chestnut hair tumbling over her shoulders. The silver blade flashed again, marking its path parallel to the other; two neat red lines running down her forearm, blood welling and spilling along the length. Her grip on the knife slipped; it fell to the tiled floor with a clatter, mingling in the scarlet spatters. She watched the blood fall with vindication. Her blood. Not his. Hers. As the fire died, so did the spell. The haze surrounding her thoughts, clouding her mind, cleared. Methodically, systematically, she picked up the knife, running it under the tap, watching as the bubbling water ran red, mopping up the blood on the floor, letting the water wash over her cuts until they remained no more than puckered lines. Job done, she slumped on the cool tiles, resting her head on her knees. Cutting wasn't the best way of keeping control, even she had to admit it, but it was the most satisfying, most rewarding. Her knife biting into her soft skin, the power she held over her own life, the decision, the deluded notion that she actually had a shred of control. So many months ago, it had begun. That girl she used to be, the one she lost somewhere. Happy, smiling, cheerful. That girl couldn't have been more different from the Sonny Munroe now. And it had all come down to one boy. Self-absorbed, stuck-up, egotistical Chad. Chad Dylan Cooper. How she could ever have been as out of her head to even consider falling in love with a jerk like him was thankfully still a mystery. Nevertheless, despite it all, she had. It hadn't come to much in the end. Chad Dylan Cooper, being Chad Dylan Cooper, had so easily tired of plain old Sonny. He had left her behind in the space of four short months, thrown her out with the trash. That was all he was to her. Trash, waste, to be recycled and thrown away again by some other fool. Then the cutting had begun. From there, things had only got worse. Gone was 'sunny little Sonny' or 'Sonshine' as so many people had called her. Her wardrobe had got noticeably darker, with purples and blacks dominating the colour scheme. Mascara accompanied lacy, ribboned shirts and armwarmers. Jeans even in the heat of summer. Hair dye. People had started to talk, to whisper about the marks that seemed permanently engraved in her arms. There wasn't any use in trying to cover them up with jackets. That just made people talk even more. Pretty soon, she was sure that everyone in Hollywood must have known that Sonny Munroe was self-harming. Not that it mattered anymore. She had gone past the point of no return a long time ago. The girl she had used to be had vanished, disappeared the moment Chad Dylan Cooper walked out of her life. And she would never forgive him for that. Never. After so many months, the memories still haunted her. Of course, how could she ever forget?

"_Chad?"_

_Her mind raced frantically, trying to process what he had just said. None of it made sense. How could he just stop loving her? Didn't he want her anymore? How could someone just decide to fall out of love? Or had he been pretending the whole time? Was every kiss a lie? Every hug? He watched her through ice blue eyes as she struggled._

"_It has to stop, Sonny. You. Me"_

_Her voice grew more urgent, pleading. This was all a nightmare, just some crazy dream. It wasn't real. It couldn't be real._

"_Why are you doing this, Chad? Why?"_

_He said nothing, keeping his expression carefully neutral. _

"_Goodbye, Sonny"_

_He turned away, clearing his head of all thought of her, his only drive to get as far away as possible._

"_Chad?"_

_She watched him as he stopped, her heart jumping with the deluded notion that she had actually got through to him, falling again as he took a step away. She stretched a trembling hand out to him, begging to God for him to stop, to say something, to tell her he still loved her. Anything? Of course, there was nothing. She fell to her knees with a 'thump' a sob tearing from her lips and echoing round the room, filling her heart with despair. As he disappeared out of sight, reality set in. Tears blurred her vision, her heart slamming painfully in her chest. He was gone. And he was never coming back._

**One of my shortest chapters ever ^^ Tell me if you think I hit the right note on the cutting part, or whether it was rather disturbing. :p **


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you to all the amazing people who reviewed. ^^ You make my time really worthwhile. This is Chad's POV for the most part. And yes, the Chad/OC character is introduced. I didn't want to make her another spiteful Portlyn-esque clone, so I made her over-enthusiastic and generally annoying. Hope you - er - like it ^^**

Chapter 2

Moira's babbling voice soon faded into the background. God, did the girl ever talk about anything apart from herself? He had been with her for – what – two weeks? And already he knew practically her life story – her hundred and one friends, numerous pet hamsters, even what her favourite brand of underwear was! Why the heck would he need to know that? But it was a welcome way to relieve the pain, stop the guilt. With every kiss, every touch, the memories faded that little bit more, never enough to vanish completely. It was a temporary release, a wall that shielded him from the torment of his thoughts, a wall that protected him from her, from everything she had touched in his life. However unreliable it was, it was welcomed. Anything that could ease his anguish was welcomed. The first few days after she had left had been pure torture. Always wondering, always regretting. He had never meant to fall in love with her. It had just happened. And it had had to stop. For her sake, he had left her. However much she had cried, begged him to turn around, to walk back, he had to keep on walking. However much it tore at his heart, broken him to hear her voice so pitiful and small, he couldn't turn round. Keep on walking, keep on running, keep on going, just get away. As usual, it was her voice that broke through his jumbled memories.

"Oh, look who's back"  
He glanced up at Moira disinterestedly. She wasn't that bad of a looker really – ebony hair waved gently down her back, bright green eyes – the eyes that had caught his attention – shone out of a heart-shaped face, lips glossy and teeth pearly. She matched his height almost perfectly, a touch smaller than him, just how he liked. It was when she spoke that you realised she really wasn't a great find. Her chatter was endless, a permanent high-pitched mixture of giggles and smiles. She never seemed to care that no one ever listened to her; her prattle would continue whether or not she had a particularly attentive audience. She wasn't that bad really, it had to be said – after all, he had chosen her himself. To anyone else, maybe, she would have been cute, but to him, just ridiculously annoying.

"Chad!" She elbowed him hard, digging into his ribs as she motioned to the girl walking into the cafeteria.  
"Isn't that Sonny Munroe?"

He looked up with a start. Sonny? What was she doing here? He hadn't seen her since – well, since that day. He studied her in shock, remembering only too clearly the Sonny six weeks ago. Surely that bony, dull-eyed, girl couldn't be her? Could it? Surely Moira had got it wrong? That girl wasn't the Sonny he knew. It couldn't be.

"Wow, what happened to her?"

Moira's speculating tone cut through his thoughts.

"What is she, Goth?"

A sudden wave of anger shot through him.

"Why should it matter, Moira? Why should you care?"

She raised an eyebrow at him, infuriating him further.

"Jeesh, I was just asking. Calm it, Chad"

He took a deep breath, forcing the red haze out of his mind.

"You're right. Sorry"

She gave him a forgiving smile.

"Hey, it's ok."

Now he remembered what he liked about her – she was so ready to forget, to forgive. No matter what he did, in her eyes he could do no wrong. She wouldn't care.

Sonny glanced over at his table. He was sitting with some stunningly pretty girl. Of course, how could she have expected any different? She should have guessed this would happen. He would move on to the next girl, find someone else, while she would be the one left behind. No self-respecting guy would ask her out anymore. She was dangerous. Looking around at the cafeteria, she was surprised to see familiar faces. So everyone had coped without her. That was just as well. Even after leaving the show, she still wished it to do well. Leaving was a personal matter, nothing more. Everyone had been glad to see her go, really. Even Tawni had been acting strangely around her, like she was walking on eggshells, never saying anything for fear of setting her off. It was enough to make a perfectly sane person go mad, never mind her. Looking at him as he talked to the girl, she was amazed to see that he really hadn't changed a bit. The honey blonde hair was still perfectly arranged, the smile was as wide as ever, the white teeth still shone. He suddenly seemed to realise that someone was watching him, his gaze flickering up to meet her eyes. For a brief second he held her stare, his ice blue eyes burning with some hidden emotion. She looked down almost immediately, shaking her head to clear the memories, dark brown hair falling limply around her face. Chad was part of the past now.

He dropped her gaze quickly, realising he had been caught off guard. He threw himself into the conversation with such enthusiasm that even Moira was surprised.

"So, what do you think of Sonny?"

Chad blinked, confused.

"What do you mean, what do I think?"

She glanced at him with an odd expression on her face.

"I mean, what do you think? About all that stuff"

She gestured towards Sonny, where she sat, shoulders slumped, hunched over in her chair.

"What am I supposed to think?"

Moira rolled her eyes.

"Jeesh, don't you wonder what happened to her? I mean, she used to be so happy and all that..."

"No. No, I really don't. Do you know what I think? I think we should just leave the past alone."

Sonny looked up at his words.

"Leave it well alone. What's done is done, ok, Moira? Just forget it. Nothing good - "

He seemed to emphasise every single word, his voice growing louder with every word until the whole of the cafeteria was staring at him.

"Ever comes of bringing up the past! Just leave it!"

Moira stood up, bringing her chair clattering to the floor. Her mouth was set in a stubborn line, eyes flashing.

"I've tried being nice, Chad! I've really tried! I told myself 'Oh, he's such a nice guy really, he's just having trouble'. More fool me, huh? Every time I forgive you, all you end up doing is shouting at me again and again! What is so wrong with you that you can't answer one decent question about Sonny Munroe?"

They seemed oblivious to the entranced gaze of the audience, caught up in their own little world. His thoughts clouded with the familiar blood-red cloud. Even though he knew she was right, he couldn't help shouting straight back at her.

"Why is everything such a mystery with you? Why can't you just accept that I don't want to talk about it and leave it?! Simply because you pour out your life story to anyone who'll listen doesn't mean that I want to tell you mine!"

Her eyes seemed to turn black with anger, rage literally emanating out of every single cell in her body.

"For crying out loud, Chad, please don't tell me you're in love with her?!"

He opened his mouth, the words literally hanging off his tongue, then turned and strode out, slamming the door behind him. Striding furiously along the corridor, he headed in the vague direction of the car park. Opening the sleek black door of his pride and joy, he slipped into the leather interior, turning on the radio, inserting a CD and sliding the volume up to maximum. The blasting tune washed over him, flooding his head, clearing his thoughts, letting him relax for a moment. He ran a hand through his hair. He would have to go and apologise to Moira later, see if there was anything he could salvage from their argument. Couldn't anyone just accept that he didn't want to talk about her, didn't ever want to bring it up again? That one memory that he could never get rid of, the one that haunted his every living moment, that defeated every sleeping hope.

_The rain beat heavily down upon their backs, drenching them both, the rain running off their soaked clothes._

"_Chad?"_

_He watched her through ice blue eyes as she struggled with his words, his heart shattering as a million different emotions played across her face. He had to end it, now. If this continued, he wasn't sure he would have the willpower to carry through what he had started. They would end up back where they always were. And he couldn't let that happen. _

"_It has to stop, Sonny. You. Me"_

_He struggled to keep his voice flat, tapping into his acting skills to do so. Hope fully he could fool her, like he had fooled everyone else. _

"_Why are you doing this, Chad? Why?"_

_Every word was a jagged knife in his heart, every syllable cutting him to the core. He had to do it, he couldn't stop now. It was for her own good, even if not for his. _

"_Goodbye, Sonny"_

_He turned away, clearing his head of all thought of her, his only drive to get as far away as possible, to run and never look back, never see her tears, never see her pain. One step, then another, then another, focusing on nothing but the rhythmic thudding of his footsteps and the pattering of rain as it fell._

"_Chad?"_

_The overpowering urge to run back to her, to tell her that he loved her, filled his heart, drowning out all the resistance in his head. He couldn't, he couldn't. Keep on walking, keep on running, running away from the one person that he ever loved, from the one person that he couldn't live without, that he would have to live without. He wouldn't turn round, wouldn't look, wouldn't see her fall to her knees, tears running down her cheeks. He wouldn't stop, wouldn't go back. And she would never see the final barrier break down, would never see him collapse onto the cold, wet, tarmac, would never see the glistening tear that fell, mingling with the rain, then another, and another, until he could no longer tell what was rain and what was tears. She would never see._

**So, here you have Chad's side of the story. His reasons for leaving her will be better explained in further chapters. He does love her, he just wants to do what's best for her. And he thinks that leaving her is best for her (again, the reasons are explained later ^^) **

**Okay, lets say... 8-10 reviews and I will update. ^^ Constructive criticism welcomed - and for anyone who has read Starless Nights, please check out the poll on my profile about writing a sequel. Thank you! :p**


	3. Chapter 3

**Ok, so thank you guys for reviewing! It really inspires me! And a huge thank you to my amazing best friend please-make-me-smile! On a random note, this is one of the shortest chapters I have ever written ^^ Review review guys - even if its criticism, I really don't care :P Everything is taken on board. This chapter was one of the most annoying ones to write - it took me forever because I was always rewriting it.**

Chapter 3

Sonny burst into the house, slamming the door behind her, throwing her bag into the corner, where it hit the brightly patterned wall with a 'thud'.

"Sonny?"

Her mother ran out into the living room, eyes wide.

"Sweetheart, what's the – "

Reaching her bedroom door, she stepped inside, locking the wooden door and slumping to the floor, pressing her forehead against the cool white paint.

"Sonny?"

Her mom rattled the brass door handle in a futile attempt to open it.

"Sonny, what happened?"

"I don't want to talk about it mom, just go away!"

Sonny's voice began to tremble; her eyes began to fill with familiar tears. She blinked them away angrily. Crying was weakness. Crying was giving in. She wasn't weak; she couldn't let herself become weak. Weakness was why he had left her, why she had done nothing to stop him. She wouldn't be weak again.

"Sonny, I can help, whatever it is!"

"No mom, you can't help, you can never help! Nobody can help! Nothing, no one, can help!"

Her voice rose.

"I don't need help! I have to sort this out on my own! I have to do it on my own."

She was crying again, the tears running down her cheeks. She was weak, she was useless. She couldn't do it on her own, she needed help, she needed someone to see. She needed him to see.

"Sonny..."

Her mother's tone was full of worry.

"Just go away, mom... I don't need you"

She regretted the words as soon as she spoke them. Silence.

"Mo –"

"What the hell has happened to you, Allison?"

"I ..."

"No, you know what? I really don't want to know"

She could hear the faint footsteps as she walked away. So few steps, but taking her so far away. Sonny buried her head in her knees, letting the tears fall from her face. No one could see her. No one could see who she really was, what she really needed. Why couldn't anyone see? Why couldn't anyone see what he'd done? Why couldn't he see what he'd done? Wiping her eyes, she walked into the bathroom, splashing water in her face. She looked up into the mirror, studying her pale-faced reflection. Black hollows encircled her lacklustre muddy brown eyes. Her hair hung straight and dull, framing her delicate features. The glint of metal caught her eye. She turned, glancing up at the razor blade that lay on the top of the medicine cabinet. In one swift movement, she had it in her hand, staring at the jagged edge as it cut into her palm. Her fingers tightened around it, and she could feel the skin breaking, the blood welling. She could already feel the welcoming burn in her arm, the sweet anticipation of the blade slicing into her arm. Just another way to keep control, just another impulse she was giving into, just another thing she had to do. There was not any thought involved, just the satisfaction as scarlet fell, as silver flashed. Just do it. Just give in. Who would care anyway?

"Sonny!"

She jumped, the blade falling from her blood-streaked hand, clattering onto the floor.

"Hell, Sonny, what are you doing to yourself?"

"Mom...."

The tears fell again, mingling in the spatters of blood. She was weak. She was useless. She couldn't do it anymore.

"Excuse me, are you Tawni Hart?"

The blonde-headed girl turned impatiently, looking around through the crowd for the person who had spoken. Sonny's mother pushed her way through the crowd, finally reaching the girl.

"What do you want?"

"Hi, I'm Sonny's mom, Lynda"

Tawni raised an eyebrow.

"Hi? What do you want, an autograph?"

"I need to ask you something, about Sonny"

Tawni rolled her eyes. Why was it that everything was about Sonny these days?

"Sure, whatever, get it over with"

"She's been... depressed lately."

Tawni snorted.

"You can say that again"

Lynda shifted uncomfortably.

"Well, you wouldn't happen to know why, would you? I just thought that maybe she'd told you something. She refuses to talk to me, but..."

"You don't know why? You really don't know why?"

The older woman shook her head cautiously.

"Chad, of course"

"Chad Dylan Cooper? I didn't even know Sonny knew him..."

Tawni laughed incredulously.

"She really doesn't tell you much, does she? Look, we can't talk about it here – too many people"

Lynda glanced round at the bustling shopping centre.

"Where do you suggest?"

"Come to the studios. It's a Sunday – our day off. No one should be there."

She nodded, following the girl as they made their way through the crowd. Just what did Chad Dylan Cooper have to do with Sonny?

**Next chapter, things really get going between Chad and Sonny ^^ Ok, so lets aim for - 14 reviews? If I'm feeling nice, I might post it up earlier :p **

****

You sang to me  
Too bad you couldn't even stay on key  
If real life is such a mystery  
Why didn't you just stick to acting

Demi Lovato - Solo


	4. Chapter 4

**My gosh, you guys are AMAZING! I ask you for 14 and you give me 17 ^^ And Jessi, I really liked your idea, so I'm going to use most of it, but am going to mess around with a few things. ******** Was a very good idea, thanks. I'm always open to any suggestions or anything that you guys want to see in the story. **

Chapter 4

Her fragile body shook as the sobs tore through her. She curled her arms tighter around her legs, rocking forwards and backwards, the rhythmic motion soothing her tears. The razor blade lay wasted on the floor, stained red by the drying blood. If only she hadn't seen that blade the first time, if only she had been stronger, if only she hadn't given in, none of this would be happening; this nightmare would be just that – a nightmare. Unreal. All of this belonged in the world of dreams, not in real life. She could still remember the first time she took the blade to her skin. So long ago, the first time she had reached for the knife, the first time she had watched the blood fall, the first time she had felt the rush of pain. If only it had never happened. But she couldn't change what she had done. And neither could she change the fact that her mother had inevitably found out, just a few short hours ago.

A knock on the door of the studios disturbed the amiable chatter inside.

"Who is it?" Chad called out, with a disinterested glance towards the sound.

"It's Lynda Munroe. Sonny's mom."

His fellow cast members gave him a smirk. Now he was in trouble. Chad got up with a sigh, walking over to the woman standing behind the door, opening it and stepping out, fixing a smile onto his face.

"Hello?"

"You're Chad Dylan Cooper?"

He gave an exasperated sigh. He really didn't have time for this at the moment.

"The one, the only. Do you want me to sign your t-shirt or something?"

She frowned at him. How could Sonny possibly like someone like him?

"No, actually. I came to ask you about Sonny."

"What about her?"

He was interested now.

"Well, really, to ask you if you'd help me. She needs you, Chad. I don't know why on Earth she needs someone like you, but..."

"She needs me? No, no, no. I'm not going back. I left for her own good; I'm not ruining it now."

Seriously, what did her daughter see in him?

"Chad, she's hurting badly. You might be too blind not to see it, but underneath that happy little exterior, she's really not that happy. She needs you, as much as you might deny it. She needs your help. Only yours. She won't take anyone else's."

"Why me?"

"I honestly don't know. I'd really rather she didn't have your help, but she's my daughter. I want to see her happy again. And if it takes you to do it, well... I won't have too many objections"

Lynda sighed.

"Please, Chad. Just go and talk to her. Please."

He threw his hands up in the air.

"Ok, fine!"

How could he let himself be pressured into doing this again? But if what Sonny's mom had said was true, if she really was hurting – then wasn't it the least he could do to make sure she was happy?

Sonny glanced up as the door clicked. Her mom was home again.

"Sonny, sweetheart?"

She didn't reply.

"I've got someone here to talk to you."

Was it a shrink? A doctor? Oh God, if her mom had hired one of those pathetic psychological freaks for her...

"Sonny?"

His familiar voice rooted her to the spot. Her body froze as her heart raced. Chad couldn't be here, couldn't see her like this, with the blood on the floor. Wiping her shirt sleeve across the floor, thanking whatever it was that had made her put on a dark purple shirt, she scrabbled on the tiles for the razor blade, feeling its distracting presence against her skin, shaking the sensation off and reaching up to place it back on the shelf. Not a second later, the door swung open, revealing the boy she hated most in the world. Watching him warily, she took a step backwards, mirroring his movements exactly as he took a step forwards.

"Sonny?"

He racked his brain for something to say, something to make her feel better.

"I – "

A glint of silver caught his eye, flashing in the bright lights and his head snapped up. A razor blade? What was she doing with a razor blade....? His thoughts trailed off, staring at her with suddenly fierce eyes.

"Show me"

She shook her head fiercely, covering her arm with a hand, tears already forming.

"Chad – "

The breath was knocked out of her as he pushed her up against the wall, the weight of his own body keeping her pressed there as he rolled up her sleeve, flinching in shock as he traced the bloody cuts along her forearm, his touch light and delicate, sending shudders up her spine. Her lips were so close to his, tantalizing, taunting. To just move forwards and press his lips against hers... He stepped back abruptly, shaking his blond head, sky-blue eyes sad.

"No, I can't do this. I'm sorry."

He turned, still shaking his head, walked out of the door, walked out of her life. She slid to the floor again, still in shock from what had just happened. Her mom finding out was bad enough, but now Chad... It was more than she could take. Resisting the impulse to grab the razor blade, her head sank to the floor, resting on the cool tiles, welcoming the solid feel. That was twice he had left her now. Three times lucky?

Chad was still shaking his head as he got into his car, turning up the radio as loud as it could go, drowning out his memories. What the hell did she think she was messing around with? Those cuts couldn't all be fresh – most of them were just faint lines. So how long had this been going on for? How long had she been torturing herself? What could have possibly made her first pick up that blade? The questions swirled around in his head, blocking off all other thought. The bones that stuck out on her arms, showing just how much it had affected her, the pink lines, the wrists that he could fit his hand around. All of it was impossible to link to the girl she had been three months ago. What had been so life changing as to inflict so much pain upon herself? Her warm brown eyes were lifeless; her wavy hair was dull and hung in straight lines. Worst of all was her smile. The smile that used to shine so bright, used to light up his days, replaced by a heart-breaking shadow of what used to be there. It tore at his heart to see her like that. Had he done this to her? Could he have possibly hurt her so unintentionally? He couldn't go back, but he had to go back. He had to set things straight. After all the things he had put her through, thinking he had done what was right, would she take him back? Or would she deny him, just as he had done to her?

**Ahh just realised how annoyingly much this sounds like goddamn Twilight – not that I don't love Twilight, I do. It just keeps influencing my stories :p Did anyone think this chapter was rushed? I wasn't sure, really.. Thanks to Jessi (whoever you are :p) for the main idea for this chapter. Okay, let's say... 20 reviews? Seriously, though, guys, if we hit the 20 mark I will be amazingly happy ^^ **


	5. Chapter 5

**You guys are amazing! I ask for 20 and you give me close to 30! ^^ Thank you so much! I've got the rest of the story planned out now, and have decided to lengthen it to 8 chapters as I enjoy writing it so much. 5 just didn't seem long enough. Also, does anyone know Sonny's address (as in, the Hollywood address, not Wisconsin) I just made it up, because I didn't think it was mentioned anywhere, but if anyone does know, it would be useful for future stories.**

Chapter 5

"_Sonny!"_

_He burst into the bathroom, freezing as he saw her. She lay, curled up, a razor blade by her side, surrounded in a rapidly increasing pool of blood. Her eyelids fluttered weakly as she recognised his voice, and a groan escaped her lips._

"_Chad."_

_Her voice was barely a whisper, strained and weak. He knelt by her side, taking one of her ice-cold, white hands in his, rubbing frantically to force warmth back into her body._

"_It hurts."_

"_Shh, I know. It'll be ok, I promise."_

_He could barely keep his hysteria under control as he took out his phone, dialling the emergency number._

"_Hello?"_

"_I need an ambulance, quickly"_

_The panic in his voice didn't seem to faze the person on the end of the line, who repeated in dull tones._

"_What's the matter?"_

_What could he say? Attempted suicide? The truth was, he didn't know what the matter was._

"_Blood loss?"_

_If the receiver thought anything of his roundabout answer, she didn't show it._

"_Address?"_

"_Erm..."_

_He racked his brains, desperately trying to remember her address._

"_Address, please?"_

"_I...Um... Homestead Drive? Homestead Close? Homestead...."_

"_You mean Homestead Court?"_

_He could have cried in relief._

"_Yes, that's it."_

_The rolling of eyes was almost audible._

"_Number?"_

"_5"_

"_Right, well, we'll be there as soon as possible. _

_The call ended with a 'click'. He put the phone down, still rubbing her hand with his free one._

"_It's going to be all right, I promise"_

"_Chad..."_

_Her voice was even weaker than before, alarming him._

"_Sonny?"_

"_Don't...leave...me"_

_A lump formed in his throat. How could she possibly think he would leave her at a time like this?_

"_I'll be right here. Don't worry"_

_A half-smile played across her lips, a fleeting shadow of the one she once wore. Her eyelids closed. She looked so peaceful, so at rest, a shocking contrast to the chaos running through his head. _

"_It doesn't hurt anymore"_

"_Sonny?"_

_His voice was panicked._

"_I'm sorry"_

"_Sonny?"_

_Was that all he could possibly say? He was like one of those stuck tapes._

"_Chad... I love you. I'm so sorry"_

"_No, Sonny, come on, you can get through this!"_

_She couldn't be giving up now, couldn't be saying goodbye._

"_Chad..."_

_She whispered his name one last time, and then there was silence. It was too late. She was dead._

He cried out her name, sitting up in his bed with a jolt. His heart beat a frantic rhythm. It took him a moment to realise he was in his bedroom, took a moment to crash back to reality. Sonny was fine. It was just a dream. She was fine. He let out sigh of relief, falling back onto his pillow, glancing over at the digital clock on his bedside table. Five thirty in the morning. Well, there was no point in trying to get back to sleep now. There were too many frenzied thoughts running around in his head. What worried him was how close his dream was to the painful reality. It could happen. One wrong move and anything could happen. He had to stop it, before it was too late to save her. He had to do something.

"Chad, you've been acting strange all week."

Portlyn sat down next to him, genuine concern in her voice.

"It's difficult, Portlyn" he admitted.

"Well, I'm sure I can help. It's about Sonny, right?"

He looked at her, surprise on his face. She gave an exasperated sigh.

"It's really not that hard to guess," she explained with a meaningful glance. "There's about a 50/50 chance that whenever you're mad, worried or happy, it'll have something to do with her"

He stared at her, still in shock. Was he really that easy to read?

"So, anyway..." she trailed off, gesturing for him to speak.

"Portlyn, as much as you want to help, I don't need it."

She pursed her lips.

"Don't be difficult, Chad. You need help."

He stood up, stepping away from her, running a hand through his hair.

"I don't need help! I can work this out on my own, Portlyn. I just need you to leave me alone!"

Suddenly he was gone, out of the door and along the corridor. He had to be alone, had to think this out somewhere nobody could reach him, disturb him. Out of the main doors, up the stairs, along another corridor and up a final hidden flight of stairs. He took a look around, breathing in the familiar scent of flowers and sunlight. This was his place, his hideaway. Whenever things were too much, whenever he needed to get away, whenever he just wanted to be alone, he came here, his rooftop garden. Flowers lined the railings, a table and chairs stood facing the sun at its position in the middle of the sky, where it cast a golden glow over the garden. Walking over to the chairs, he pulled out one, sitting down and propping his feet up on the table. He was already beginning to regret shouting at Portlyn. She wasn't a bad girl, really. Far more intelligent than her character was portrayed as, she was a veteran like him, surviving four seasons of Mackenzie Falls. She was interested in knowing him as who he was, not because he was Chad Dylan Cooper. She had been a reliable friend to him since he had first started. But he couldn't help shouting at her. He couldn't tell her about Sonny, as good a friend as Portlyn was. It had been bad enough for Sonny when he had found out; he couldn't imagine what it would be like if she was suddenly faced with an overwhelming mass of worried friends; the embarrassment, the shame of showing them that blade, those cuts. He couldn't tell them. But neither could he do this on his own. He didn't know how to save her, how to bring the old Sonny back. He had destroyed her single-handedly, but he couldn't put the pieces back together on his own. He needed help. But, how?

**Just a chapter for Chad, really, deciding that he needs help to get Sonny back. ^^ There is eventual Channy, don't worry. :p It just takes a rather long time getting around to it. Ok, lets say.... 37 reviews? I won't hold the next chapter hostage if you don't review, but it would be a nice target. ^^**


	6. Important!

Author's Note

**I'm going back to school in 2 days and I really want to focus this year, as I have my GCSEs coming up soon. So, as you can probably guess, I won't get as much time to write and update my stories. The updates will probably come about twice every week, maybe once – it all really depends on how much time I get. Nothing major, but just thought I should let you guys know, so that if I haven't updated for a few days, I haven't completely given up on my story ^^ Thanks for all the reviews as well – 40! You guys are the best!**


	7. Chapter 6

**Okay, now I've got the author's note over with, here's the next chapter. ^^ Randomly, I went out and bought Here We Go Again (Demi Lovato) today, and have been listening it for about 6 hours straight. Music inspires me ^^ I really am running out of things to talk about in these notes... Hmm...**

Chapter 6

"Chad Dylan _Pooper_, huh?"

Grady strolled up to the blonde-haired star, suspicion emanating out of every pore. Chad raised his eyebrow, taking a step forward into full view. The sarcophagus swung open, revealing a pigtailed Zora.

"What do _you _want?"

He raised his hands in surrender.

"Jeez, all I did was walk in here! Why do you Randoms have to be so hostile all the time?"

Tawni glanced up from her position on the couch, idly filing her already perfect nails.

"Spit it out, Chad"

He rolled his eyes, taking a breath.

"I need your help"

There was a chorus of splutters and coughs, followed shortly by helpless laughter. Setting his jaw, he watched them, tapping a foot as the seconds ticked by.

"_You_ need _our _help?"

Nice was first to recover, arms folded over his chest, leaning against the hat stand.

"Yes"

It took an almost superhuman effort to spit out that single word.

"Why?"

He shook his head.

"Look, I need to talk to you about something. You might want to sit down"

Nico glanced at him warily, before sitting down on the sofa, squashing in between Tawni, Grady and Zora. Chad took a seat in the armchair opposite, his expression suddenly serious.

"It's about Sonny..."

"Sonny?"

Zora's questioning tones filled the air between them.

"But Sonny's fine!" interrupted Nico, dark eyebrows furrowed.

"Yeah, sure. Whatever. Keep telling yourself that. Maybe one day you'll believe it"

The boy gave a sigh, admitting defeat.

"Ok, so you got me. Now what do you need to tell us? About Sonny?"

"She's changed. Surely even you can see that?"

Nods all round. Good. He had their attention. The next words would bring reality crashing down.

"And she has those marks on her wrists. Permanently. Ever thought about what they are?"

Nico was shaking his head now, frantically, furiously.

"Bracelet lines. Bracelet lines. Nothing more"

Chad was on his feet abruptly, shouting, words flying like daggers towards the boy in front of him.

"Bracelet lines? Is that what you call them? Stop being blind, stop pretending like nothing's happening! Sonny's hurting, hurting badly! She needs our help! We can't just ignore it, can't just leave her to fail on her own. We have to do something! "

A hush fell over the room. Nico's head fell into his hands. Gathering up his scattered thoughts, Chad spoke, quietly, softly.

"They're cuts. Razor cuts."

No one denied it. No one could deny the truth. Chad took a deep breath, steadying his pounding heart.

"But we can do something."

Tawni stood up, nail file still clutched in one trembling hand, eyes wide and shimmering.

"Why _we _Chad? Why you? Why do you care what happens to Sonny? You left her, remember?"

"Tawni..."

Nico stretched out a hand, only to be batted away by the girl.

"No, she has a point. I shouldn't care about her. But I do. Because I did this to her. Unintentionally, but irrevocably. I have to do something. If I had never left her, she would never be like this. Believe it or not, I do still care what happens to her. I left for her own good, not mine."

Tawni scoffed, the sound harsh and pain-filled.

"How could you possibly have left her for her own good? She was in love with you, for crying out loud! And then you had to go and leave her! As much as I hate you, I wanted her to be happy! I'm her best friend!"

A tear slid down her cheek. She made no movement to wipe it away, letting it fall down her cheek, staining the carpet beneath her feet.

"I..."

Chad grimaced. Things were getting difficult now. But he owed it to them to explain.

"I'm the bad boy. She was the good girl. We couldn't mix. I made a rule a long time ago, when I first fell in love. I made a promise to my heart, to never date someone I cared about. All the people I date end up getting hurt. I couldn't do that to her. It was a mistake to ever fall for her in the first place. But love is unconditional."

He paused for a moment, considering his words.

"And I fell in love with Sonny Munroe."

Another pause.

"Against my own rules, she became my girlfriend. I had to end it, before someone else ended it for me, with a rumour, another lie, and another photo-shopped picture. I couldn't put her through that torment, wouldn't let her get hurt the way so many other girls did. But I did. I caused so much pain. I was trying to do the right thing. I just went about it the wrong way, I guess... Maybe if I had done it differently it wouldn't have led to this. I can't change what I've done, though. But I can try to set it right. And I need you to help me."

Tawni was crying, suddenly, the tears trickling down her cheeks.

"You idiot...You absolute idiot..."

The others watched her, dumbstruck. No one had ever seen Tawni cry before. Nico was by her side in an instant, his arm round her shoulders, whispering into her ear. She leant her head on his shoulder, oblivious to his presence, just needing a shoulder to sob on, a comforting friend to lean on. She seemed to come to her senses as her tears dried, turning to face Chad, blonde hair swept back behind her shoulder.

"Sonny was..."

She shook her head jerkily, trying to clear her mind.

"Is – my best friend. I care about her. Anything I can do to help her get better..."

"Yeah. Tawni's right" Nico added.

"Sonny needs our help" Zora chimed in.

"For once, Chad speaks the truth." Grady nodded as he spoke. "But what can we do?"

Everyone turned to Zora, who looked at them with a shrug.

"I don't know!"

"I have a plan..."

Chad spoke up, watching as their heads turned back to him.

"A meeting between the Randoms and Mackenzie Falls. Sonny won't be able to say no – she was the one who first wanted to end the feud."

Tawni nodded.

"But how is that going to help Sonny?"

"That's just the cover. Everyone will be meeting in the meditation room – apart from Sonny. You'll have to tell her that the room has been changed. Tell her to go to the basement."

"I still don't get it..."

Grady scratched his head. Chad sighed.

"I'll be waiting in the basement."

"Oh."

"I need to talk to her, but lately I can't even get in the same room as her. I may end up just making things worse, but I have to try"

There was a long silence as the others mulled over the suggestion.

"So, will you help me?"

Tawni sighed.

"I guess I have no choice"

Nico nodded, saying nothing, Grady following his example. Chad turned to Zora, who shrugged.

"Why not? It was a better plan than mine"

A brief smile flashed across Chad's face. Stage one was complete. He was going to make things better. He was going to save her.

**Okay.... 50 reviews? Can we get that? Seriously, though, you guys are aaamazing! 50 reviews would be completely awesome ^^ The next chapter should be up fairly quickly... four days max. Please R + R**

**So how did you get here under my skin  
Swore that I'd never let you back in  
Should've known better  
Than trying to let you go  
'Cause here we go go go again  
****  
Here We Go Again - Demi Lovato**


	8. Chapter 7

******I'm so sorry I haven't updated recently – the document uploader was being really temperamental and wouldn't let me load anything new on. I had this chapter all written and ready to post on Friday.... grr... So annoying**. Hey, you guys are amazing! ^^ 50 reviews! I can't get over it! **. All the people who reviewed – thank you so much! Sorry, but this chapter's kind of short because I had to write it in an hour. :p Anyway, enjoy!**

Chapter 8

"Chad, finally!"

Marta strode over to him, a frown on her face. He took a step inside the room, glancing around, counting the heads. Skyler, Chastity, Ferguson, Portlyn.... Good. Everyone was here.

"Chad!"

His gaze snapped back to the dark haired girl in front of him. Forcing down the impulse to walk away from her, he reminded himself that he had to be nice to them, had to make sure they agreed to his plan. He plastered a faint smile on his face, summoning up all his years of acting lessons.

"Hm?"

"Have you seen this?"

She thrust Tween Weekly in front of him with a shaking hand. It took a moment for the picture to focus. Displayed on the front cover of the magazine was a picture of Ferguson and a blonde haired girl he didn't recognise, holding hands and laughing. The title read 'Misery for Marta over Mystery Miss?' He shrugged, raising his eyebrows.

"And?"

She gave a small shriek, making him wince.

"He's meant to be dating me! For publicity! Remember?"

"Look, either way, we're still on the front page, so people are still going to want to watch the Falls. It really doesn't matter, Marta. Just because for once you're not on the cover doesn't mean it's the end of the world"

She ground her teeth, brown eyes blazing.

"I don't know why I bother talking to you!"

Turning on her heel, she stormed off towards Portlyn. He watched her go with a sinking heart. Maybe he had overdone it a bit.

"Guys!"

He had their attention in an instant, commanding the room

"Can you come over here?"

They glanced at him reproachfully. He was going to have to try harder, obviously.

"Please?"

As much as it pained him to say it, he had to do it. Marta looked at him warily, whispering something in Portlyn's ear. Chad Dylan Cooper was actually asking for something nicely? Slowly they began to move, one by one, breaking off from the sides of the room and joining him by the door, most of them taking a seat on the sofas next to him.

"I need to you to listen to me. Whatever I say, just hear me out. Don't leave until I'm finished. Can you cope with that?"

There were nods from his cast members on the sofa, although he noted that Marta's was rather more reluctant that the rest.

"I'll start from the beginning."

He took a breath.

"Chad, what's this all about?"

Marta interrupted his thoughts, her shrill voice cutting through the tension. He gave her a sharp glare, refusing to answer her question.

"Sonny's changed recently. Changed a lot. Even you can see that, right?"

More nods and uneasy glances shot between the group on the sofas.

"I won't go through everything, but to cut a really long story short I messed up. I hurt her, and I have to fix it. And to do it, I need your help."

"Since when did you care what happens to a 'Random'?"

Skyler spoke up, his tone scornful.

"Sonny's not just a 'Random'. You all know it, every single one of you. She's different, she's more than that, she's special. She could wipe the floor with all of us here. She's got so much more potential."

One muttered comment from Marta. He decided to try a different tactic.

" Look at her. All of us were once like her – happy, trusting, so full of life and belief that dreams come true."

He paused for a moment, looking around. There were no protests, no denials. They had all been through it.

"Do you really want her to end up like us? Full of spite, full of hate, full of fear?"

He didn't have to act anymore. The emotions were real, the words ringing true.

"But how can we stop that happening to her? It's inevitable. Everyone knows that"

Chastity 's voice was hushed.

"No, it's not inevitable. We did this to ourselves. Getting too caught up in the world of drama, becoming too blind to see that there was more to life than the weekly ratings, forgetting what really matters in life. Friendship, laughter, smiles."

"Love."

"And it'll happen to her, too. Unless we do something. Unless we stop the fighting, stop the rivalry, stop the hate. The war between our shows has gone on long enough. We're both in the same boat here. We're all from the same studios. So why can't we get along with them? They're not that different from us. We're all people, all have the same instincts, feelings, emotions. Just because they're a comedy show and we're a drama – why should that matter? We're all actors. All we're trying to do is entertain people. We just go about it different ways. Why can't we just get along?"

Marta got to her feet, a petulant frown on her face.

"Because they're – they're – comedians!"

She seemed to struggle to get the words out.

" And we're actors! We don't mix!"

He stepped forwards, temper rising.

"Is that it? Just because we're on different shows? That's exactly the kind of hate I'm talking about, Marta, the kind of hate that's ruining our lives! Look around, open your eyes! This whole rivalry is childish and immature!"

He turned to face the others, forcing his voice to slow, his tone to calm.

"So are you all the same? Do you all really think that we're so much better than them? Am I just doing this for nothing?"

Chastity gazed up at him, an unfathomable expression on her face.

"I agree with Chad. This has gone on for long enough"

Portlyn moved to stand next to him, flashing him a quick smile. Skyler and Ferguson quickly followed suit, with small nods, eyes cast to the floor, flanking him on either side. Chastity sighed.

"How can I say anything against it? Everything you've just said is true. I just wish it wasn't"

He turned to Marta, who glared at him, fury blazing in her eyes.

"Fine. I'll help you. But not willingly" she spat, not moving from her rigid position opposite him, her arms crossed over her chest, body trembling. Turning to face the others, he ran through his next words quickly in his head.

"So, you'll help me?"

Everyone nodded. He smiled at them. Phase two – success.

**Ok, next chapter will be posted up soon! There should be about two more chapters after this one, the story is coming to a close.... Let's aim for.... 58 reviews. I'll post the next one up soon, anyway. Please R + R!**


	9. Chapter 8

**Heh, only just realised that in the last chapter I titled it Chapter 8. Oops. It was cause I think of the Author's Note as a separate chapter. So last chapter was Chapter 7, to clear up any confusion. This chapter is Chapter 8. Ugh, my second to last chapter. Enjoy it while you can. **

Chapter 8

She strode briskly down the hallway, her thoughts racing. She knew it had been a mistake to even agree to meet up with Mackenzie Falls. She shouldn't have given in, shouldn't have said yes. Seeing him again, opening up the wounds that had only so recently begun to heal... She didn't know if she would be able to take that kind of pain. But here she was, obliviously putting herself through the ordeal. Her friends had been persistent, she would give herself that, but it was no excuse for admitting defeat. She could have said no. And yet, she didn't, for reasons still unknown to her. Which was why, as Sonny Munroe was walking down the steps to the basement, she had a terrible sense of foreboding. Only a few hours ago had Grady run up to her, gasping for breath, managing to exhale out a few words to tell her that the meeting room had been changed, that they were no longer headed for the Mackenzie Falls meditation room, but for the basement, which had struck her as rather odd at the time. Only this morning had her fellow cast members first put forward the idea to her; the idea of reconciliation between the two shows. Four months earlier and she would have jumped at the chance. But now, she wasn't so sure. But what she was sure of, was that she should have never given in.

"_Sonny..." Tawni's wheedling tones wafted over to her from her blonde-haired friend's position on the dressing table stool. Sonny made no movement to show that she had been heard, keeping her head firmly engrossed in her book, her legs curled up beneath her on the green sofa. Tawni gave a sigh of impatience, striding over and tugging the book from her hands, tossing it onto the where it landed, pages crumpled and the spine bent. Sonny glanced up, annoyance flashing in her usually warm eyes.  
"Tawni, go away"_

"_No, Sonny, you are going to listen to me. You are going to listen to what I have to say for once in your life"_

_Her sky-blue eyes flashed dangerously and in a swift movement she had planted herself on the couch next to Sonny, a startling honey-sweet smile already fixed on her face. Sonny remained silent, seemingly deciding to take heed of her friend's demands. Tawni decided to take a sweeter tack._

"_You've always been a big fan of peace and happiness, haven't you?"_

_She shrugged. _

"_I used to, yes. Emphasis on the 'used to'."_

_Tawni rolled her eyes, clucking her tongue against her teeth in frustration. Apparently it was going to become hard to stay nice._

"_Well, fine, good, great. But you want peace. And you've always hated the rivalry between our show and Mackenzie Falls."_

_Sonny opened her mouth to speak, but Tawni wasn't waiting for an answer._

"_So, we've come up with an idea. I've spoken to the others and they all agree. We want to end the feud. And I've talked to the Falls and they're fine with it"_

_Sonny raised her eyebrows. She couldn't even imagine someone like Chastity ever willingly meeting with the rival 'Randoms', let alone a girl like Marta or Portlyn. _

"_So we've decided to have a meeting. To sort out our 'differences'. Everyone else has agreed, so you better be coming."_

_Now this was heading into dangerous territory.  
"Tawni, I really don't think – "_

"_That's right. You don't think. So think for once. Even if it's not particularly to your liking, why can't you just come along for all of us? We need you there, otherwise it won't be the same."_

_Somewhere in her words, she had switched to a pleading tone._

"_We need you, Sonny. Do you really want this meeting to turn out a disaster? Then we'll never heal the feud and our show will be the laughing stock of the century for even suggesting the meeting. We'll never live it down"_

_Her lips turned down in a pout. Sonny shook her head._

"_No, I won't come. No."_

_Tawni ground her teeth._

"_Stop being so selfish!"_

_The brunette stood up abruptly._

"_Selfish? How can you call __**me **__selfish? I'm not the one who's too air-headed to realise when her supposed friend is hurting! You're the one who's forcing me to attend some stupid meeting that's only going to hurt me even more!"_

_The words sounded childish even in her head. She __**was **__being selfish._

"_There you go again!"_

_Tawni was shrieking at her, her hands held out by her sides._

"_Being selfish, only thinking about yourself, over and over again! Why can't you just give others a chance once in a while?! The world does not revolve around Sonny Munroe! The world revolves around the sun! And the last time I checked, you weren't exactly an exploding ball of energy!"_

_She was red-faced, her blonde hair scattered around her forehead. Swiftly, she brushed it back, glaring at the girl in front of her._

"_Ok, fine, fine."_

_With a sigh, Sonny admitted defeat._

"_Yes?"_

_Tawni's tone was petulant, pedantic._

"_I'll go to the stupid meeting"_

_A dazzling smile spread across the girl's face and she began to move to give Sonny a hug before realising what she was doing and jumping back hurridley. Phase three was a success. _

Raising a hand to open the black door, she paused. There was no sound from inside, just the dripping of one of the leaky pipes that Tawni was always complaining about. Maybe she was too early. Maybe she should go back to her dressing room, and just forget all about the meeting and the memories. She shook her head swiftly. She had to go through with this, had to prove to herself that she was strong enough to face him again. It wouldn't be that bad, surely. With the complete casts of both of the shows, in fact, she doubted whether she would even get a chance to talk to him. Not that she would want to, anyway. With another toss of her head, she tried to rearrange her jumbled thoughts, get them into some sort of rational order. Opening the door, she plastered an amicable smile upon her face, a smile that rapidly vanished, along with all coherent thought as her brain tried to process the scene before her. Standing in front of her, leaning casually against an unidentifiable piece of furniture clothed in a white dust sheet, was the one person she hated most in the world.

**Okay, I will try and update soon. The homework is easing off a bit, so it should be manageable. On top of the homework, however, I have decided to self-teach myself guitar. :p Clever decision, huh? Soo.. lets say... 68 reviews? 10 more? Should that be too difficult? Or 70 ^^ Or maybe I'm just tapping into wishful thinking here. Also, I have just realised I haven't done random lyrics in a while. So I'll give you two. I hope you can at least partly link them to this chapter...**

**Who you are is falling over me,  
Who you are has got me on my knees,  
I'm hoping,  
I'm waiting,  
I'm praying you are the one.**

**Falling Over Me – Demi Lovato**

**I'm terrified of what you do,  
My stomach screams just when I look at you,  
Run far away so I can breathe,  
Even though you're far from suffocating me,  
I can't set my hopes too high,  
'Cause every hello ends with a goodbye.**

**Catch Me – Demi Lovato (The most AMAZING song ever ^^)**


	10. Chapter 9

**73 reviews! OMG, you guys are aaamazing! In honour, I shall name every reviewer – you guys, I will love you forever! ^^ Thank you for making my writing so much fun! Here we go: - my fantastic 50****th**** reviewer, ....Okay, this chapter will be a long one as I have to fit the whole ending in. ^^ Not wasting anymore time with author notes, here you go!**

Chapter 9

"Chad"

She managed to hiss, her teeth clenched and fingers balled into fists. He glanced at her with an indifference that only made her more incensed. They had tricked her! Her own friends, the only ones she thought she could actually rely on, had done nothing but betrayed her! And even after Tawni had put her through all that guilt about being selfish! A movement from the boy opposite from her jolted her back to Earth. He took a step forwards, his expression carefully composed.

"Sonny"

He smiled as he said her name. She instinctively began to smile back, before shaking her head as she realised what she was doing. That was half the reason she kept well away from Chad Dylan Cooper. It was far too easy to fall in love with him, to forget the reason she had fallen into her depression. But this time, she wouldn't forget. She wouldn't let herself be drawn back into his web of deceit and heartbreak.

"Chad, I'm just going to leave before this gets difficult."

He had to force down the urge to shout at her for being so oblivious. It didn't have to be difficult. She had made it difficult. Loving her was one of the easiest things Chad had ever done. And then things had gotten complicated. She turned, reaching for the door handle.

"Sonny, please"

She froze, the pleading tone in his voice bringing back memories. How many times had he asked her to stop, to think, to wait? How many times had he asked her to forgive him, that it was just this once, that it would never happen again? Swinging round, the anger in her eyes surprised even herself.

"You really think you can just ask me to come back and I'll go running into your arms? You really think you can blind me again, just after I finally opened my eyes to who you really are? You really think that any of your pathetic pleas will be enough anymore? You must be pretty stupid, Chad."

"Sonny – "

"No, no more 'But Sonny', no more 'Please, Sonny', no more 'Just listen, Sonny'. Just leave me alone, Chad, ok? Just shut up and let me leave."

His blood boiled and suddenly he was in front of her, his face two inches from hers, so close that she could count the freckles on his tanned cheeks. His eyes were glittering with rage, and abruptly he was shouting, yelling back at her. Who was she to tell him that he had to be quiet, that he had to watch meekly as she walked away from him? Who was she, but little insignificant Sonny Munroe? Who was she, compared to Chad Dylan Cooper?

"No, Sonny. Now you're going to listen to what I have to say. Because what I have to say is so much more important than anything you could ever say. I'm not going to leave you alone; I'm not just going to watch while you get further and further away from me, I won't just sit here!"

She took a step back from him, wrinkling her nose.

"Well, it's a bit late for that now, don't you think?! You should have figured that out four months ago!"

In a flash, she was out of the door, slamming it behind her, the frame shuddering with the impact. Another crash as Chad raced through it, leaving it wide open, shaking in the air. And now she was running, sprinting, along the corridors, anywhere, just to get away from him, away from the person that had hurt her so much, away from the person whom she could do nothing but unconditionally love. Out of the double doors, into the familiar car park, the rain beating down on her back, soaking through her white blouse. His voice still followed her, his footsteps still echoed in her ears. Turning round, he was there, standing in front of her, the same frown on his face as the one he wore four months ago, the one that never failed to bring back a flood of unwelcome memories. Her eyes shimmered with unshed tears.

"It's all you fault! Why couldn't you have just left me alone? Why couldn't you have just never bothered with little old Sonny Munroe? Why couldn't you have just never interfered with my life?"

The tears spilled over, her voice breaking as the tears fell, mixing with the rain, falling faster and faster until you could hardly tell what were tears and what were raindrops.

"If you hadn't left me, none of this would have happened! It's your fault! It's all your fault!"

He was incensed now.

"My fault? My fault? I never asked you to fall in love with me! I never asked you to agree to be my girlfriend! I never asked you to do anything!"

"That's right! You never asked me anything! You just went ahead and did whatever you goddamn well pleased!"

Her eyes were wide, staring.

"Why did you have to fall in love with me? I never asked you to! Why did you have to choose me? Why couldn't you have just bugged some other poor soul? I never wanted your pathetic, pitiful affection!"

He was babbling now, spouting lies, the red haze in his mind overtaking his thoughts.

"You're just some silly girl! Why would I ever want you to fall in love with me?"

She tried not to let him see how much his words hurt her.

"You fell in love with me, too!"

He scoffed.

"Why would I ever fall in love with someone like you?"

There was a flash of silver, a cry, and then the drops began to fall, first one by one, then faster, until the rain on the ground was stained red, collecting in a forlorn puddle. He stared at her, the serrated knife shaking in her trembling hand from where it hung over her arm. His body wouldn't move, his brain wouldn't comprehend. The blood was rapidly spreading along her arm, and with a clench of her fist and another flash she drew the blade back along her wrist. Her hand was stained with crimson, and the knife dripped her blood onto the paving slabs, where it ran with the rain, tumbling into the gutter. With a shaking sob, she collapsed to the ground, the knife still clutched in her hand as if holding a teddy bear or a cuddly toy. Hugging her knees, she sat, closing her eyes and resting her head on her knees. He broke out of his frozen state with a jolt as she raised the knife again, in the other hand this time, catching it just before it traced its bloody path along her other arm, wincing as he caught his fingertip on one of the jagged edges. Trying to pull it from her stone grip was impossible. He enveloped her in his arms, stroking her hair, comforting her as she sobbed, as the blood dripped onto his crisp blue shirt. He didn't care.

"Sonny, shh. It's ok. It's alright. I'm here"

With a clatter, the blade fell to the tarmac, lying dejected in the wash of blood and water.

Cradling her bleeding arm to her chest, she looked up at him.

"Chad, I'm sorry..."

Normally he would have been angry at her for harming herself in such a way, but out here in the freezing cold, with the rain pouring down on them, with her pain-filled hazel eyes gazing into his, there was no way he could possibly shout at her.

"Hey, it's ok. It wasn't your fault"

"Chad, I don't want to do this anymore. I just want to give up. It's too hard."

He wrapped her tighter in his arms, attempting to get some warmth into her body. She looked up at him with a faint smile on her face, wincing with every raindrop that fell, a stinging jolt in her arm.

"Sonny, we can always get through this, you know that."

She sighed.

"But why? What's the point? I just don't get it anymore."

He tried not to let his concern show through. Had he really done so much as to push her this far? He had to dig deep for the right words.

"The point? The point is that I need you, Sonny. I need to you to stay here with me."

Her eyes closed, as if in annoyance. She raised a trembling hand to her forehead, and with the other attempted the push him away, to no result.

"Chad, how can you say that and expect me to believe you anymore? I don't even know if anything that anyone says is real anymore. You left me, with no rational explanation, and now you say that you need me back?"

Her voice was rising, growing in strength.

"How can you just say things like that?"

He took a deep breath. It was time for things to change.

"Because, Sonny Munroe, I love you."

He could feel her freeze in his arms as he spoke. Her eyes widened, unable to do anything but stare. Was it actually true? Could he really love her again? After all, he had followed her all the way out here, had hugged her, and comforted her when no one else would.

"I love you, Sonny."

But who was she kidding, really? He probably told every single girl he met that he loved her. She was nothing special, nothing to be prized. She was just another girl in the million-and-one others. Yet, she couldn't make that nagging voice at the back of her head go away. Maybe he really means it...Maybe he really has changed...Maybe. So many things that may be. Yet, only one truth. The inevitable truth.

"Really, Chad? Really?"

The bitterness was back, the pain on her face no longer from the cuts on her arm.

It was his lips on hers that answered all her unspoken questions, the feel of his silky hair in her hands that convinced her that this wasn't all a hopeless dream, the butterflies dancing in her stomach that assured her that the words he spoke were true. He drew back, panting slightly, his eyes meeting her fathomless gaze, the hazel eyes he had missed so much.

"Really."

And for the first time in four long months, Sonny Munroe smiled.

**Wow...it's finally done. That is my longest story. Although it really doesn't feel like it. I wasn't too happy with the end as well...I don't know why... I know I've said this many times but a huge huge huge huge huuuge thank you to everyone who reviewed! You make my time absolutely worthwhile – and thank you for making this my most reviewed story ^^ I have lots more Channy in the pipeline, so look out for more! Please R + R this last chapter, and make it complete! ^^ **

**KiteDancer x**


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